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Friendship is…

  • trust and respect
  • shared interests and plans
  • mutual encouragement
  • secrets and quality time
  • shared fun
  • communication
  • efforts to solve problems

Friendship isn’t…

  • always harmonious, without conflicts or disagreements
  • always thinking the same thing and being in agreement
  • living life in exactly the same way
  • constant comparisons and competition against each other
  • always being happy with what the other person does and never feeling disappointed
  • giving without getting much in return

Different kinds

You’re not sure if you’re being bullied and you don’t know what to do? More information here

Highs and lows

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5 tips on making friends

Get to know yourself well

Find what you like and develop your passions: for example, sports, music, theatre, or visual arts. By getting involved in activities you enjoy, you may meet other young people who share your interests.

Get involved!

It’s easier to make friends in an environment where you feel comfortable and will naturally meet new people. You might join a sports team, project, or committee, for example.

Dare to take the first steps

When you meet someone you’d like to know better, you can start out by smiling at the person, then daring to say hello and exchange a few words. You could also try to approach him/her first on social media. If the other person responds positively, let the friendship develop, little by little.

Be interested in other people

When you meet new people, show that you’re interested in them. Listen to them and ask questions so you can learn more about them. If someone seems interested in you, you could suggest an activity you might do together: for example, doing homework, playing a sport, or going to your place for a movie.

Take care of your relationships

Taking care of your relationships means being honest and loyal. It also means finding a balance between the space you take up in the relationship and the space your friend takes up. If you know how to cultivate good friendships, it could be the password making other people want to be your friend too.

Frequently asked questions

How can I end a friendship?

If it’s not working anymore with a friend, you might think about ending the friendship. Before making your decision, think carefully. If you act on the spur of the moment, you might regret it later. To make things easier, you might gradually build some distance, text less often, spend less time with him/her, etc.

If you definitely want to end your friendship, clearly identify the reasons. Choose a quiet time and respectfully tell your friend about your decision. Speak about what you feel and talk using “I.” Avoid accusing him/her and support your claims with observable facts.

Be discreet. Don’t talk about it to everyone, announce it on social media, send your friend a message through someone else, or ask your mutual friends to choose sides. The separation will probably be hard on your friend, and there’s no point in making it worse!

How can I change friend groups?

If you’re having problems with your group of friends, you can talk to them to try to improve things. But if that doesn’t work and you don’t feel comfortable with them anymore, you might also choose to find new friends.

To create new friendships, you can engage in activities where you’ll meet new people. You might also smile at people you find interesting when you meet them, start saying hello to them, talk to them about anything and everything. If they seem to be reacting positively, you can suggest that you could eat together at school or invite them to take part in an activity. Gradually, you’ll form new friendships and change groups.

If you decide to leave your old group of friends, do it respectfully and don’t talk about them behind their backs. Just tell them that you like them but you want to meet new people.

My friend is spending all his/her time with his/her lover

If you think your relationship with your friend is deteriorating because he/she is spending too much time with his/her lover, it might be time to talk about it. Calmly explain what you’re feeling and why you’re worried. Are you afraid of losing your friend? Do you feel that his/her relationship isn’t healthy? Do you need to be reassured? Tell your friend what you need and try to understand his/her view of the situation.

After you’ve talked about it, if the situation doesn’t get better, remember that you can’t change other people. Don’t stay alone in your room; give yourself the right to be happy and make new friends. Friendships change during our lifetime and that gives us a chance to meet new people.

I’m afraid of losing a friend. What should I do?

First take time to think. Is your friend really becoming more distant or is that just your impression? Why is he/she pulling away from you? Talk to your friend and express your fears and feelings, without blaming him/her for the situation; speak using “I.” Together, see if you want to improve the situation and how you might do it.

If that doesn’t work, maybe you could take a break so both of you can think about things and take the time to define what you really want. You can also meet new friends and get interested in other people. If you need support, talk to a trusted adult or Tel-jeunes.

My friend is going out with my ex. What should I do?

First, identify what you’re feeling: jealousy, anger, sadness, betrayal? Do you believe a friend should never be interested in one of your exes? Or do you think he/she is entitled to take a chance? If your heart was broken, it might be hard for you to see your friend with your ex. Are you comfortable seeing them together? Do you want to hear about their love story? Talk about it with your friend or your ex so everyone can feel comfortable in the situation, and set clear limits if you’re afraid of being hurt. Before you drop your friend, think carefully. Sometimes talking about it will sort out lots of things.

Answers to your questions about friendship

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