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Sex

Sexual activity

Fantasies, desire, pleasure

Pleasure in all its forms

All kinds of sex

Vaginal penetration

Sex with vaginal penetration is a sexual practice in which the guy inserts his erect penis into the girl’s vagina. The back-and-forth movement stimulates both the guy’s penis and the girl’s vagina, labia minora, and possibly her clitoris. Depending on the position, the level of stimulation they achieve and the closeness they feel, both the guy and the girl may have an orgasm.

Sexual positions

Penetration and sexual touching can happen in various positions, depending on your tastes, your limits, and your comfort level, and those of your partner. There are no rules: just choose the positions you enjoy! Depending on what you feel like and the mood of the moment, you can get creative and try new positions. The goal isn’t to follow a plan or a book or a website… but to let your imagination run wild!

Oral sex

Fellatio (“giving head” or a “blow job”) is when the penis is stimulated by the partner’s mouth, tongue, and lips. Cunnilingus (“going down” or “eating”) is when the vulva and clitoris are stimulated by the partner’s tongue and lips. These practices should be done intimately and respectfully to make sure both partners enjoy them. To protect yourself against BBSTIs, you should use a condom for fellatio and a dental dam for cunnilingus.

Anal sex or anal penetration

Anal penetration (sodomy) is when a guy penetrates his partner’s anus. In addition to doing this gently and gradually, it is recommended that you use a lubricant: unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t lubricate naturally. Although you can see sodomy very often in porn, it’s not a very common practice. If you’re interested, take precautions because it has its risks (pain, injury, infection). To avoid infections, use a condom and change it if you move from the anus to the vagina.

Vibrators and sex toys

Vibrators and other sex toys are sold only to people aged 18 and over. They’re not necessary for an enjoyable sex life. These toys can create special feelings that you don’t get with your partner, but they can also cause desensitization. You might find that you’re less appreciative of your partner’s touch. In some cases, it could even get more difficult to reach orgasm.

BDSM, threesomes, and orgies

Other sexual practices are shown in movies like 50 Shades of Grey or in porn. These include BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism), threesomes, and orgies. It’s normal to be curious, but these practices are really quite rare. Most people don’t do them, and they’re definitely not necessary to enjoy sex. They can be done by consenting adults if they feel like it.

Frequently asked questions

Do I have to give a guy a blow job if I don’t enjoy it?

Fellatio involves caressing the penis with your mouth, tongue, and lips. As with all sexual practices, it’s your choice whether or not to do it. You may or may not like it; the important thing is to respect yourself and go at your own speed. If you don’t enjoy fellatio or you don’t feel like doing it, don’t do it, and say so to your partner. Sex should remain enjoyable and pleasurable for both of you. Maybe one day, you’ll feel like doing it, and maybe not. Even if your partner likes this practice, you’ll need to find other ones so you can enjoy sexual pleasure… together.

How long should sex last?

If there’s one thing in life that there’s no point in timing, it’s sex! There’s no record to beat, and there’s no “minimum time” it has to last. A 5-minute quickie can be just as satisfying for both partners as sex lasting an hour. Instead of counting the minutes, the important thing is to get pleasure and feel a connection with your partner.

Should I like anal sex?

Anal sex (or anal penetration or sodomy) is not a very common sexual practice. There are some other related practices, such as anilingus (oral stimulation of the anus). The anus is considered to be an erogenous zone, since it has lots of nerve endings. That’s why some people appreciate stimulation of this region. That being said, girls can’t get an orgasm by anal penetration alone, unlike guys, for whom anal penetration stimulates the prostate. But whether you’re a guy or a girl, one thing is certain: you might find anal sex uninteresting, unarousing, or disgusting. Agreeing to do it is your choice, and your partner needs to respect that!

Does foreplay happen before every sex act?

Foreplay isn’t obligatory every time you make love. Every person is different, and every sex act too. Stroking and sexy talk can help put you in the mood and also increase your desire and arousal! Not everyone is equally sensitive to stroking. Some parts of your body will stimulate you more than others. Depending on the situation, you might feel like having a quickie or want to take your time with your partner to make the excitement grow. You need to feel comfortable and be sure that you and your partner are on the same wavelength. If you feel that something’s not for you, talk about it.

I’d like to try a threesome. Is that a good idea?

You might feel comfortable with a threesome, but the other two people involved have to be comfortable too! Before doing anything, you need to set some ground rules so you know what you’re committing to. For example, will it happen just once? Is a couple involved? If you’re part of a couple, have you clearly defined your relationship? You need to feel confident and ask the right questions. After a threesome, you might feel jealousy, remorse, or guilt. Is it really an experience you want to have? Or is it more like a fantasy you want to keep inside your head? That’s something to think about.

Difficulties and problems

No erection or loss of erection

Having problems keeping an erection in adolescence is very rarely due to a physical problem or disability. Most often, it happens because of nervousness or a feeling of not being able to live up to expectations. Are you ready to have sex, and do you want to? Are you worried about the risks? Are you comfortable talking about it with your partner? Go at your own speed. If you’re worried about it, talk to a health care professional.

Penetration that’s painful,...... difficult, or even impossible

During sex, you don’t always have enough vaginal lubrication. There are many reasons for this: discomfort, not enough stimulation, menstruation, an effect of birth control pills, etc. Be sure to create a favourable mood and engage in sexual stimulation (foreplay) before penetration. If it’s your first time, your hymen may make penetration more painful. If the problem continues, see a health care professional.

No orgasm? No panic!

Sex without an orgasm doesn’t mean that it was boring or unsatisfying. You don’t necessarily have an orgasm every time. There are several reasons why you may not have an orgasm: insufficient arousal, overly short or no foreplay, clitoris and other erogenous zones not stimulated enough, something on your mind, worries about not being good enough, or a need to discover your preferences and get to know your body better. These things happen!

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