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The first time

Should you make love or not? Everyone at their own speed

You don’t become “ready” at a particular age or after a particular event. Everyone has their own speed and everyone’s ready at a different time. You might be ready when your partner isn’t… or vice versa! And whether your friends are ready or not shouldn’t have any effect on your own feelings.

Yesterday you felt ready and today you’re not any more? That’s very possible and it’s normal! It’s also possible that you may never be ready to do certain things. What’s important is to remember that you always have the right to say no. You might also be ready to do one thing but not another.

Whew, it’s complicated! And that’s exactly why it’s important to talk about it with the other person. You want him/her to know what you’re ready to do… and you also want to understand him/her. If you feel comfortable talking about it with your partner, you’ll also feel more comfortable sharing intimacy with him/her!
It’s also possible that you don’t feel ready because you’re not comfortable with yourself. If that’s the case, you can talk to us at any time by texting or phoning Tel-jeunes.

What about pressure?

Someone’s personal pace can’t be rushed – it has to be respected. Pressure from other people shouldn’t influence you to experience your first time or do things that make you uncomfortable. Try to make your decision while not thinking about other people – what they’re doing, what they’re saying… or what you think they’re going to say or think! How do YOU feel? The answer’s right there.

Don’t forget: if someone puts pressure on you or harasses you to make love, that’s not normal and it’s unacceptable. If you have any doubts or feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to ask for advice from your friends, parents, or Tel-jeunes.

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