How can I help my friend whose heart is broken?
When a friend has a broken heart, it’s not always easy to find the right words. Here are some mistakes you should avoid.
Giving your friend the impression that his/her pain isn’t important
You weren’t going out for that long! Respect his/her pain and say instead that you understand, that you feel bad for him/her. Sometimes, we can feel real pain for a reason that seems trivial to someone else.
Giving your friend false hope
I’m sure you’ll get back together! To be able to heal, the person needs to accept that it’s over and move on.
Badmouthing your friend’s ex and saying I told you so
I told you he/she wasn’t reliable! Don’t come whining to me! Your friend is likely to feel attacked or judged and may withdraw inside himself/herself.
Going too fast
My cousin’s single! I’ll introduce you! Your friend needs time to heal. Respect his/her pace and wait until he/she’s ready to meet someone new.
Making your friend feel guilty or denying his/her emotions
Get over it: you’re depressing! Crying won’t do any good! Your friend needs to express what he/she’s going through and might find it hard to smile for a few days or weeks. Even if you’re eager for him/her to get back to normal, give your friend time.
Gossiping and talking about your friend’s ex
I saw your ex yesterday; he/she was with Tony and… Your friend really needs to take his/her mind off things and focus on his/her own life. Encourage your friend to go out and do things he/she enjoys.
Don’t forget: if you think your friend has negative thoughts, the situation isn’t improving, or it’s too hard for you to help him/her alone, don’t hesitate to consult a trusted adult or Tel-jeunes!
