Something’s wrong

Distress is a prolonged state of physical or psychological pain. You can recognize it by many signs: deep suffering, change in behaviour (mood swings, withdrawal, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, etc.), inability to find solutions, worries about the person’s life or safety. You can then show your concern and call on a professional for help. Don’t hesitate to contact Tel-jeunes, whether it’s for yourself or to get advice on how to best help a friend.

You may be shocked or angry about the situation, believe that this behaviour is extreme or weird, but try not to criticize or judge your friend. Encourage your friend to get professional help because you can’t bear this burden yourself. Reassure your friend, ask questions to help him/her express his/her emotions, suggest strategies for feeling better (exercise, call a friend, be with people, go to the movies, etc.). You need to get some support yourself because this situation can be emotionally hard on you too. Remember that there are lots of things you can do to manage your emotions in a healthy way.

You have a right to feel uncomfortable because, depending on what your friend tells you, keeping his/her secret can be tough. Be clear that it won’t be possible to keep the secret just between the two of you. You need to talk to someone you trust. Reassure your friend that you won’t tell the secret to just anyone but suggest that a third person should be included (a professional, counsellor, or teacher) in your circle of trust. You can help choose this person and go with your friend to see them.

Sometimes we set too many goals at once, and some of them may be unrealistic or impossible. This kind of situation can trigger stress or performance anxiety, which means that you get worried about achieving your goals and that has an impact on your mood or your mental and physical health. Do you just believe that everyone expects you to be perfect, or is that really true? Set yourself one goal at a time, asking yourself if it’s realistic. In that way, it’ll be easier for you not to feel discouraged or overwhelmed by the situation.