Sugar daddy, sugar baby: what you need to know
On social media, sugaring (being a sugar baby) is often shown as an easy life: quick money, fancy restaurants, gifts, etc. It’s normal that it can seem appealing, especially when you’re not financially independent yet. But behind the perfect images, the reality is often much riskier. We explain it to you, without judgment.
To remember
👉 Sugaring almost always involves a power imbalance that can put the younger person at risk.
👉 Under 18, any exchange of money or gifts for sexual acts is illegal and considered sexual exploitation.
👉 Social media glamorizes sugaring while hiding real risks like pressure, manipulation, violence, and long-term mental health impacts.
What is sugaring?
Sugaring is a relationship between an older, wealthier person (a sugar daddy or sugar mommy) and a younger person (a sugar baby). The older person provides money, gifts, or pays for outings. In return, they expect companionship, attention… and often intimate or sexual acts.
This is what’s called a transactional relationship.
💡 Even when people talk about a “relationship,” there is almost always an exchange.
Why it can seem tempting
It’s important to say it: the idea of getting money quickly, feeling chosen or valued, being able to pay for basic needs or studies, and seeing positive testimonials from sugar babies online can all make this lifestyle seem appealing.
If you’ve ever thought, “maybe this could help me,” that doesn’t make you a bad or naïve person. In fact, it’s a normal reaction: everything about how it’s presented is designed to make it attractive, whatever your reasons.
A major power imbalance
In sugaring, one person has the money, age, and experience… while the other often depends on them. This imbalance can lead to:
pressure to accept things you don’t want;
difficulty saying no;
fear of losing financial support if you set boundaries.
Some people believe that paying for things gives them the right to do whatever they want. That is never true.
If you’re under 18, it is sexual exploitation
It’s essential to know this: if you are under 18, any situation where money, gifts, or benefits are exchanged for sexual acts is illegal.
The law calls this sexual exploitation, even if the relationship seems “consensual.”
⚠️ Responsibility is always on the adult. Never on the young person.
Very real risks
Even if some people say “everything went fine,” many others experience:
manipulation;
violence (verbal, emotional, sexual, or physical);
sexual assault;
fear and isolation;
long-term impacts on mental health.
Often, it starts slowly… then boundaries are pushed, again and again.
What we see online, and what we don’t see
On TikTok or Instagram, we mostly see the gifts, hotels, and trips. It creates the illusion of a dream life, without effort or constraints.
What we see much less—if at all, even though it’s closer to reality—are the pressure (to do certain things or see certain people), fear, regret, and impacts on self-esteem. Social media shows what makes people dream, not what hurts.
Even if sugaring may seem appealing, it almost always relies on a power imbalance. And when it involves people under 18, the law is clear: it is sexual exploitation.
If this idea crosses your mind, it may be because you’re looking for a way to get by financially, leave a difficult situation, or simply experience something that feels exciting. It’s important to say this: there are other options that don’t put your safety, well-being, or consent at risk. You deserve support, respect, and choices that protect you.
Need to talk or get help? You’re not alone: discover resources that can answer your questions or help you.
👉 There is no shame in asking for help.
👉 You deserve respect, safety, and relationships where your “no” is always respected.
Myth or Reality?
Unfortunately, no. Boundaries can be tested or ignored, especially when money is involved.
Many expect sex, even if it’s not clearly stated at the beginning.
Manipulation isn’t always obvious at first, especially when someone seems kind in the beginning.
Even if it’s presented as “dating,” there is often money or gifts in exchange for intimate or sexual acts. In reality, it closely resembles sex work.
