Hide this page
Sex

Sexting

Seduction is a normal need!

You might feel the need to test your seductive power and your ability to please other people, and that’s normal. Seduction means showing your interest in someone. You try to attract their attention to find out whether he/she also has special feelings for you. Seduction often doesn’t involve words but relies on looks, smiles, or how you stand when the other person’s around

Different ways of seducing people

There are 1001 ways to seduce someone: with your sense of humour or personality, by developing a connection with him/her, or doing small favours for him/her. You might even find yourself taking a detour to class just so you can walk by your crush’s locker! You hope he/she notices you, you send him/her subtle messages, you ask him/her questions, and show an interest in him/her.

Sexting and seduction

Seducing by sexting

Whether you’re a girl or a guy, your wish to seduce someone is perfectly normal. However, you need to be careful when you use technology. You may think you’re communicating with the other person in private, but remember that your cell phone leaves traces! A text, email, or Facebook message can be shown or forwarded to other people. Think carefully before sending a sexy photo or message, which could be seen by other people at your school.

Different ways of seducing people

There are 1001 ways to seduce someone: with your sense of humour or personality, by developing a connection with him/her, or doing small favours for him/her. You might even find yourself taking a detour to class just so you can walk by your crush’s locker! You hope he/she notices you, you send him/her subtle messages, you ask him/her questions, and show an interest in him/her.

An exchange between people who trust each other?

The other person may give you the impression of being someone you can trust and may promise never to share what you sent him/her. And maybe that’s what he/she thinks right now and he/she really has good intentions. But it’s still possible that the other person will decide to break his/her promise because he/she’s mad after a breakup or argument, or perhaps under the influence of his/her friends.

Before sexting

Ask yourself what you would do if the other person was there with you. Would you dare to act like this? And does it respect your values? Is this really the message you want to give him/her? Are you the only person sending sexts or is the other person taking part too? No matter what, never send a sext because you feel forced to do it.

Frequently asked questions

Is your sext illegal?

According to the child pornography laws, it is prohibited to possess or publish photos, texts, or videos of a sexual nature that show someone less than 18 years old. That includes selfies, videos, or texts that you create about yourself and that you have in your own possession, whether you share them or not!

Regarding sexts in writing, the law is less severe if both people are consenting, in accordance with sexual consent legislation. However, it’s still something that could have serious consequences. Be careful!

Is it common to send nude photos of oneself?

Not as common as all that! Most people don’t do it. We’re bombarded with sexual images in ads, movies, TV series, and video games. That can give you the impression that it’s totally normal to send nude photos of yourself. That might be true for some people, but not for everyone! Everything depends on what you feel when you do it. Most of all, don’t force yourself to do something under pressure from friends or other people you know.

What if sexting is done in private between consenting people?

In principle, it’s illegal to have sexual photos of yourself or your partner on your cell phone if you’re both under 18 years old. Furthermore, it’s risky to take such pictures because you have no control over the virtual world. The photos could end up in a stranger’s hands if your cell phone or computer is stolen. As well, your trusting relationship with your partner could change after a breakup or argument, or under pressure from friends.

Think about why you want to send sexts. Are you ready to risk having your messages or photos seen by other people?

How can I erase a sext?

You can delete the photo or discussion at your end and ask your partner to delete it too. If he/she refuses, you can try to convince him/her and explain your reasons. Nevertheless, digital activity always leaves traces and you’ll never be 100% certain that everything has been erased. So be very careful before sending this kind of message. Once it’s sent, you have no more control over anything that happens to it. You must have unshakeable confidence in the other person and be ready to run the risk of leaving a trace on the web. Don’t forget that there are lots of other ways to express your sexuality!

Can I send a sexy photo of myself without any risk?

It is always risky to send a sexy photo of yourself because once it has been sent, you lose all control over it. Once a text is sent out on the web, your photo can end up anywhere and your friends and family might recognize you even if you hide your face. There might be something in your photo you didn’t think of, such as a tattoo, a piece of jewellery, or the decoration of the room that shows it’s you. Any person who shares your sexy photo can also prove that it’s you who sent it by simply taking a screen capture for example. It is always a risk to share such very personal photos.

Why are people who send sexts looked down on?

When a private sext becomes “public,” people often blame the victim for what happened to him/her. They think that person took a risk and is responsible for his/her own actions. They say the person was wrong to take a nude selfie. They forget that it’s the person who distributes the photo who’s wronging the other one!

That person is acting without the victim’s consent, and his/her action is illegal. It doesn’t respect the private, intimate nature of sexting. It betrays the partner’s trust and puts the victim at risk of bullying or humiliation by exposing his/her private life to the whole world. It’s a serious act that can be punished by law.

Contact a Tel-jeunes counselor
Telephone: 1 800 263-2266 Text: 514-600-1002 Email Chat How it works
All topics
Administration
© 2019 Tel-jeunes All rights reserved.
Registered charity organization number: 136403649RR00001
Keep chatting