I hate this

I hate this i hate everyone i hate everything i wish i could just stop breathing and disappear into thin air I’m not doing anything with my life all i do is drag others down and cause them pain and i hate it i wish i could just die I’m tired of crying every night in fear of going to school the next day and waking up with a splitting headache because i cried so much and I’m dehydrated i was prescribed antidepressants but they just don’t work anymore everything is so scary and loud and annoying and bright and it’s overwhelming and i wish i wasn’t scared to die.

its 11:55 pm and i have school tomorrow but i don’t want to go i want to stay home and take a mental health day but my mom won’t listen to me she knows i have diagnosed depression and anxiety yet she treats me like a joke like my feelings aren’t real like I’m just faking it but i can’t take it anymore i just want a day to get myself together because i was so depressed during winter break i couldn’t do anything except rot in my bed what do i do im scared i hate this

@SafranAttentif1

Hi @SafranAttentif1 ,

How are you?

You look really tired of everything that is going on, especially school. I know it's hard to look at the progress you made but I am sure there is more than you think.

You are understood, heard, and you aren't alone. The feelings you go through are valid.

I would like you tell you that there is solutions out there. I am proud that you choose to text us here in the Forum Tj. You are on the right way.

Do you think you can ask your doctor about your prescription? Maybe they can do something about it?

What do you do when you are stressed for school?

I think you should try to make a list of healthy things that makes you feel better when you feel like the world is falling apart. Could be drawing, sport.s, music, etc.

I fully support you, you can do this. Don't forget that when it's 11:55 pm, you are tired which makes your overthinking and feelings go even more intense. ❤️

Remember that we are still here no matter what. You got this xxx

RoseSympathique7

@SafranAttentif1

Hey @SafranAttentif1 🩵

I love the answer that @RoseSympathique7 gave you and I wanted to add a bit to it 😊

How have you been since you wrote? I hope that it helped you to write out your feelings on the TJ forum :) Sometimes, the words gotta come out and it can help to relieve yourself from some of the emotions that are weighing on your heart. 

I hear you. 

I felt through your words how it’s been for you.

To be honest, I know that it’s harder to convince yourself of that than just reading the following words, but YOU MATTER 🩵

You really do. Depression is tough to go through, but remember that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. The journey to it may appear to be impossible, but I believe in you. 

One step at a time, one breath at a time, you can make it.

Let me tell you something that struck when I cam across a random video once: “The healing process does not have to be linear.” 🩵

I don’t know what caused depression, but I encourage you to remain hopeful and maybe reflect on what makes you stress or have negative thoughts. What are some things that would be helpful for you to let go of to help you get more frequent smiles on your face? What are some things that you are grateful for? What are some things that are little its and bits of happiness in your life? I encourage you to reflect on these topics and to hang on to that hope 🩵 

Healing does not mean that all the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer needs to control your life. And you continuing to move forward despite the challenges, and starting to take better care of yourself are ways to gain a bit more control every day. How does that sound? 

Your emotions are valid. You are valid. Remember that you’re worth it 🩵

If you need a break, I encourage you maybe talk with a councillor at school, so you can take to do stuff for yourself, for your mental health. It’s ok to take some time for yourself. And I encourage you to be accompanied through the process. 

It’s ok not to be ok.

It’s ok to get some help. Actually, it’s important. 

Healing means changes; it implies kindness. 

It takes time.

You got this 🩵

Don’t hesitate to reach out again on the forum; we’ll be happy to help :)

Troubles avec l’école

Je suis en secondaire deux, mais je suis supposé d’être en trois. Ben bref, j'arrête pas d'être anxieuse ou angoissée lors de mes pensées noirs. J’essaye de parler s’en avec mon pédopsychiatre mais je suis incapable de proprement prendre ses conseils. J’essaye mon maximum mais rendu au présent je me sens incapable. Je suis dans un program qui a besoin de ma présence…mais jsp quoi faire, je me sens incapable.

C'est tu normal? (Idées noires)

Salut,

Ça fait un bout que je voulais en parler, mais je n'ai personne de proche. Alors comme dit dans le titre, j'ai des idées noires. Par contre, je ne veux pas nécessairement mourir pour de vrai. La vie est parfois superbe, mais parfois non. Comme normal dans le fond. En plus, je ne comprends pas pourquoi je pense au suicide, car j'ai une bonne famille, je n'ai pas de problème à l'école, etc....

Bon, jsp si vous pouvez m'aider, mais je voulais écrire pour que d'autres personnes comme moi se sentent moins seuls. :)

Est-ce que j'aime mon père ?

C'est bizarre comme feeling... mais je me demande parfois si j'aime vraiment mon père. J'ai toujours dit à mon père que je l'aimais . Mais, est-ce que je l'aime pour qui il est ou juste parce que c'est mon père et donc je suis comme "obligé". Mon père m'a beaucoup fait souffrir, surtout mentalement. Il me dit que si je m'habille de cette façon je n'aurais pas d'ami, il me jugent beaucoup sur plein de choses ( mes problèmes alimentaires, le fait que j'aime des choses pour les enfants, que j'apporte un toutou à l'extérieur *ESSA* ) . Il est déjà arrivé qu'il me dise des choses très blessants comme " est* d'enfant d'ch*enne de cal*ce " ou même qu'il soit agressif physique ( me donner un claque, me poussé par le cou sur mon lit, me poussé dehors la nuit en pyjamas en hiver *ma mère est venue me chercher* ) Malgré tout ça reste mon père et je peux avoir du plaisir avec lui . Je suis donc confuse surtout après un chicane. Je me demande si j'aime mon père. ( selon moi il n'est pas violent, les événements nommés sont rare )

La synesthésie

Allo aujourd’hui avec une de mes amies on a réaliser que jlavais peut-être une sorte de synesthésie. Après avoir faut quelques test on dirait que j’en ai vraiment.

je pense pas que j’ai besoin de conseil de rien mais ça mlexcite trop jlavais besoin d’en parler