My parent is sick: How can I get through this?
Apprendre qu'un de tes parents est malade peut être un vrai choc. Que ce soit une maladie physique ou mentale, chronique ou temporaire, c’est full normal que ça bouleverse ton quotidien et que tu ressentes plein d’émotions.
Nothing feels quite the same anymore
When a parent is ill, your family's routine can change dramatically. They may be more tired, in the hospital, or simply less available than before. At home, responsibilities may also shift. You might want to help out more by cooking a meal, picking up groceries, or looking after your siblings. Helping your family in these ways can be meaningful.
But don't forget one important thing: you're still a teenager. It's not your job to carry everything on your shoulders.
You might feel a lot of emotions at once
Watching a parent struggle can bring up all kinds of emotions. Some teens feel scared, sad, frustrated, or even angry. Others feel guilty about laughing with friends, having fun, or thinking about something else while their parent is going through a difficult time.
All of these reactions are normal. They don't mean you love your parent any less—they simply show that you're going through something difficult too.
You have the right to ask questions
Sometimes adults try to protect their children by avoiding conversations about the illness. But not knowing what's happening can feel even more frightening.
You have the right to ask questions and ask for explanations. If your parent isn't able to answer, you can talk to your other parent, another trusted family member, or a healthcare professional.
Understanding what's happening can help you feel a little less lost.
Your parent is still your parent, even if your relationship changes
Illness can change many things. Your parent may be less patient, have less energy, or no longer be able to do everything they used to do.
Sometimes, illness can also make them much less available. They may need to focus all of their energy on treatment or recovery. Some illnesses can also affect a person's behaviour, emotions, or ability to communicate, making your relationship feel different or more difficult.
If your parent has the energy to listen, continuing to tell them about what's happening in your life can be comforting for both of you. But if that isn't possible right now, it isn't your fault—and it doesn't mean you have to go through this alone.
You can also turn to another trusted person, such as your other parent, a family member, a close friend, a trusted adult at school, or a counsellor. You deserve support too.
Don't forget to take care of yourself
When illness becomes part of family life, everyone can be affected. The parent who is sick isn't the only one struggling. Your other parent or the people who care for you may also be more tired, worried, or less available than usual. You might start to feel like there's no room left for what you're going through.
But your needs matter just as much. Keep spending time with your friends, doing activities you enjoy, and making space for things that help you feel good whenever you can. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's one of the best ways to get through this difficult time.
If everything feels too heavy, or if the adults around you don't have the energy to support you right now, don't keep it all to yourself. Talk to another trusted adult, a family member, someone at school, or a counsellor, like the team at Tel-jeunes. You don't have to face this alone.
Even though illness may change some things, it doesn't define your entire family. There can still be meaningful moments, hope, and ways to move forward—one day at a time.
