Because you want to avoid feeling painful or disagreeable emotions, you may be tempted to use strategies such as avoiding people, keeping to yourself, staying much too busy or consuming alcohol or drugs.
There are stereotypes that cause a lot of harm when we think they’re true or try to conform to them: “boys don’t cry,” “girls are too emotional,” “it’s not good to show your emotions,” etc. Some people wrongly believe that, if it’s possible to avoid crying, that’s the best thing.
Crying or feeling your emotions is definitely not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it’s even been said that you have to be strong to cry.
Emotional build-up: not a good idea
Bottling up your emotions or letting them build up may feel good at the time. It makes you forget your pain and your problems, but in the long term, things can turn bad. The longer you wait before talking to someone about your problems, the more the problems grow and get more complicated to solve.
Running away from the situation or being good to yourself?
Still, you need to know the difference between running away and giving yourself a break during a tough period. You can ask yourself these questions: Am I doing this activity to avoid or run away from something or because I want to feel good? Why is it important for me to do this activity? Why does it attract me? Asking these kinds of questions can help you understand your actions and behaviours a bit better.
I keep everything inside. How can I express myself better?
Most importantly, think carefully about what you want to say; then you may feel more comfortable saying it. You can start by writing, which some people find easier. There’s no need to write a novel! Some notes, just for you, will help you organize your thoughts and name your emotions. You’ll see: it’s a useful exercise that will help your when you decide to talk to someone about what you’re feeling. The right words will come.When you look inside yourself to identify what’s wrong and express it (orally or in writing), it allows you to think, make decisions, move forward, etc.
When possible, you can choose a place, a time, or people with whom you feel comfortable letting your emotions go… Expressing your emotions instead of holding them in is much healthier. The more you repress them and the longer you wait to talk to someone about your problems, the less you listen to yourself and the more your problems will grow and get harder to solve. Once we’ve expressed our emotions, we immediately feel better. You can also use writing to put your issues in words, so you can then better explain them to someone else.