How can I be more confident?

Mental Health   ›   Self-Esteem  ›   How can I be more confident?

Learning to accept yourself is easier said than done, but it’s what will help you gain self-confidence. Here are a few tips for learning to accept yourself as you are.

It’s normal to doubt yourself. You can’t feel confident all the time. Self-confidence is built with time and experience. It grows and develops, just like you! You can cultivate it by emphasizing your successes and strengths and treating your mistakes as learning experiences. Don’t wait to feel perfectly sure of yourself before trying something, or you risk never doing anything! The idea is to accept your doubts but do it anyway. Self-confidence will come with experience as you learn from your successes and failures.


Love yourself

We often think that everything would be better if we were different: taller, less shy, more this, or less that… but it’s not true! Get to know yourself by exploring your tastes, strengths, and limits. Accept yourself the way you are, and develop your own talents and interests. The people who love you can help you identify your strengths and qualities.


Learn to be kind to yourself. Look your mistakes in the face, find out what they have to teach you, then remember your strong points, and keep moving forward. To boost your self-confidence, you can also set yourself small challenges in the domains you like. When you succeed, don’t forget to write it down in a notebook! In moments of self-doubt, you can read it over to remind yourself of your successes.


Give yourself the right to make mistakes and have flaws

Before trying to correct your weaknesses, ask yourself if your expectations are realistic. Do you really need to change? If yes, what flaws are causing problems, and why? Do you really want to change or is someone else asking you to do it? You might be motivated to grow. Identify the aspect of your personality you want to work on, then set yourself realistic goals, that gradually get bigger, so you get closer to your ultimate aim.


Remember that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore, we often talk about qualities or flaws, but it’s also possible just to see them as personality traits: a particular personality trait can hurt you at times, but at other times it might be useful. Can you find good qualities hidden behind your flaws?


Keep asserting yourself

If you know your strengths, you can use them more easily when you need to in different situations, and you can express your thoughts and emotions in your own way. Some people are more introverted, and others more extraverted. For some people, being assertive means talking loudly and taking up lots of space in a group. For others, it’s more delicate and discreet. They aren’t noticed as much but they’re just as confident about asserting themselves. No matter what your style may be, you need to feel comfortable about how you express yourself!

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