What to say if the other person doesn’t want to use a condom?

Sexuality   ›   STBBIs  ›   What to say if the other person doesn’t want to use a condom?

Here we explain what to do if you are about to have sex and want to use a condom, but your partner doesn’t.

Some easy excuses not to put on a condom 🙄

1. If you loved me, you’d do it without a condom.

Love doesn’t protect against BBSTIs but condoms do.


2. If I had something, I’d know it.

Most BBSTIs have no symptoms. Only a doctor can say if someone has caught a BBSTI.


3. A condom is uncomfortable and I can’t feel anything.

Maybe it’s not as comfortable but, with the variety of condoms available on the market, you can find one that suits you. Some of them even make you feel more!


4. You know me: you can be sure I don’t have anything.

A person can be infected by a BBSTI and not know it. So even if you know your partner well and trust him/her, don’t take any risks. Many BBSTIs don’t cause symptoms. Only screening tests can confirm that someone doesn’t have a BBSTI.


5. I’m on the pill so we don’t need a condom.

The pill is an excellent contraceptive. But it only protects against unwanted pregnancy – not against BBSTIs.


6. With a condom, I’ll lose my erection.

To avoid this problem, practise putting on a condom. That way, when the time comes, you’ll feel confident and your erection will last. You might also try a different size or brand of condom.


7. I’m much too young to have a BBSTI.

There’s no age limit for getting a BBSTI. In fact, young people aged 15 to 24 are the most affected by some BBSTIs, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV.


8. I’m allergic to condoms.

Condoms made of polyurethane or polyisoprene for people with a latex sensitivity are available in drugstores. They cost about the same as latex condoms.


9. Condoms are for one-night stands.

Condoms are made to protect you from BBSTIs in all circumstances – whether it’s a one-night stand or with your steady girlfriend or boyfriend. Before you stop using condoms, don’t forget to have a screening test.


10. It wrecks the mood.

When you get used to it, it only takes a few seconds. Some ideas to keep the action going: keep condoms handy, ask your girlfriend or boyfriend to put it on you, etc.


How do I ask my partner to use protection without offending them?

We protect ourselves from STBBIs so as not to put our health, our lives, and the lives of others in danger. It should be a reflex: when you want to have sex, use protection! Wanting to protect yourself doesn’t mean you don’t trust the other person.


For peace of mind during and after sex, condoms are the only effective way to protect against both pregnancy and most STBBIs. Ideally, you should talk to your partner about contraception before you have sex. This will save you from having to make a decision in the heat of the moment.


Between the two of you, you’ll surely find ways to incorporate condoms into your sex life in ways that are exciting, and even fun.

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