Impossible love : how to get through?
The impossible and non-reciprocal love happen more often than we think. The other person can be unavailable, inaccessible or not even know who you are! Sometimes, it's because we mix up love, attraction, and admiration. Here are some clues to help you better understand what's happening to you.
I’m in love with someone’s who’s in a relationship
There’s nothing you can do about it: you think constantly about him/her and when you see him/her, your heart pounds… but the person is already part of a couple!
We don’t decide who we’re going to fall in love with. And when our heart chooses someone who already has a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s complicated! What should you do? Keep silent, express your feelings, try to forget the person, wait for him/her? It depends on the situation!
If you have the courage, you might decide to talk to the person to find out how he/she feels. You might also decide to keep silent, for example out of respect for his/her relationship, if you think it’s just a passing feeling or if the situation isn’t too painful for you. Finally, you might choose to wait and see: who knows, you might forget the person or you might get your chance later on!
If the person isn’t interested or you decide to try to forget him/her, you’ll probably suffer from heartbreak. In that case, give yourself time to get over it, go out with your friends, and do things you enjoy to take your mind off it.
Most of all, don’t keep everything locked up inside you! No matter what happens, talk about it with your friends or with Tel-jeunes. Talking with people who understand you is sure to do you good!
I’m in love with a celebrity
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one! But is it really love?
- Love, is a deep feeling that you have for someone you know well and whom you’ve learned to love with all his/her qualities and defects.
- Admiration, is what you feel when someone impresses you with his/her talent or beauty.
- Attraction, means wanting to be with a person because you find them good-looking, sexy, or physically attractive.
If you’re “in love” with a celebrity, what you’re probably feeling is a mix of admiration and attraction. You don’t really know this person. In reality, he/she may be someone you wouldn’t like at all!
If you feel that your hopes are taking up too much space in your head and your love is making you unhappy, it’s time to move on. If necessary, talk about it to someone you trust.
You’re attracted to your teacher, your coach, or another adult you know. Despite his/her age, you admire him/her and feel like you’re in love. Should you be worried? Answer: it depends!
I’m in love with my teacher or coach
You might fall in love with a teacher, a coach, or another adult you admire. These adults are there to help, listen to, and support you. Sometimes you might mistake their caring attitude for love.
However, a teacher, coach, or other adult should never respond to your love. Since you’re under 18 years old, an adult who is responsible for you has no right to have a romantic or sexual relationship with you, even if you want to. It’s forbidden by law.
If you feel uncomfortable or your attraction to an adult is taking up too much room in your life, talk about it to someone you trust. That will surely help you see things more clearly!
Some information about consent.
